But sometimes I am so ashamed of my state. Once again the “Don’t Say Gay” bill is working its way through the Tennessee legislature.
This is the most ridiculous bill I have heard of in quite awhile. All it will support is the further stigmatization of gay people; a group who already feels out of place in the majority of the bible belt.
Here is the latest local news article about this bullshit bill: (I’m having trouble with the hyperlink. Sorry.)
I have an ongoing internal debate with myself over the social networking site that has raging for years. Earlier last week I read that the company will soon be going public and since then I have been thinking about closing my Facebook down (but I think about doing this at least twice a year).
The problem is the pros of having a Facebook are really really great. But there are so very many cons to keeping it.
Reasons to get rid of my Facebook page:
-Too many baby pictures
-Too many wedding pictures
-Too many people hating their job
-Too many people hating their life
-Too many people talking about their babies
-Too many people talking about how much the love their partner
-Too many people talking about being irritated with their partner
-Too many people complaining about not having a partner
-Too many “Jesus” posts: prayers/pleas/thanks/encouragement/etc.
-Too many posts deliberately instigating all the Jesus people
-Too many posts politically charged (in either direction)
-Too many posts about sports/tv/awards/celebrities
-It will force me to reach out to my friends in real life a whole
lot more.
-Too many “life obligation friends:” distant relatives, work
people, friends of friends that I may see socially a few times
a year, relatives I see annually or do not like, etc..
Generally, I’m just annoyed by Facebook. I am not a people person, I do not like most people, and, honestly I would much rather be alone than with most people. And really, as much as I love the narcissistic aspect of “look at how awesome I am!” I do not like actually putting some of that stuff out into the gigantic internet void.
Reasons to keep my Facebook page:
-I like the ease and simplicity of keeping up with my “real life”
friends: seeing photos, weekend plans, etc..
-It makes party-planning and concert-inviting incredibly easy.
-I’ve reconnected with old friends with whom I’ve lost touch.
-We have distant plans of opening an etsy store and the social
networking business aspect is most-likely needed.
Obviously if we are tallying these as a scoresheet, my Facebook page will be terminated immediately. But the positive side of Facebook has a much stronger pull than nearly all of the negatives. Last year in the post-holiday moving mess, I abandoned Facebook for almost three solid weeks and I didn’t miss it all that much.
What I have been seriously considering this past week is scaling back my Facebook in a major way; taking down most of my pictures, not posting directly onto my wall (just letting twitter fill it), getting rid of all my information except one email address, and other less participatory things like that. I have a Twitter account, I have this blog, I have three active email addresses, I just don’t need Facebook. And keeping it that way still allows me to issue event invites/reply to event invites, keep in touch with out-of-town friends that I really do enjoy interacting with even in such a small superficial way, and allows me to keep the account open for the eventual store page/ads. It would also mean that I no longer have to be such a fucking German about who I let into my Friends list (because I refuse to do the “hide” thing or the different group things just on principle). And, by not posting directly to my wall, it will push me to post more on here–even if it is random internet finds I wander across.
I have very nearly talked myself into doing this over the past two or three days…we will see what happens. Do you like your Facebook page?
Did I mention that we were busy? I hope so. I hope the complete and utter lack of posting also showed that.
Let’s recap:
*On December 31st, 2010 we moved into a new rental house with a one year lease.
*In mid-April 2011, the owners of the house [heretoforthwith knows as Dickheads] (who had put it up for rent after
it wouldn’t sell when the husband’s job had him transfer out of state TWICE) called our agent to tell her that,
“Hey. The job is moving me back to [local city] and we want our house back.” Period. End of story. So begins
rental hell. With that came several months of neighbours-who-were-previously-sweet-and-super-friendly-and-who
we-later-found-out-were-friends-with-Dickheads [now to be known as Fatties or Assholes Next Door] constantly
calling and complaining about noise from guitars and band practice (they had been totally fine with it for four
months!), sometimes IN TEARS, and traffic from Ben’s students and grass being unmowed (for more than five days,
if it wasn’t mowed, they called our agent complaining about snakes–in a goddamned subdivision!!!). It was awful.
Truly truly horrendously awful. Our sweet sweet agent, who technically worked for The Dickheads, was constantly
apologizing for their retched behavior. Keep in mind, this awfulness lasted NON-FUCKING-STOP from mid-April thru
mid-September. (Including a story from September about me walking out of the shower to find The Dickheads
circling the house with open blinds.)
*On May 7th, 2011, our ten-year anniversary, we got married. It was a semi-elopement that we didn’t tell anyone
about (grandparents got 10 days notice to attend) and was more stress/work than anticipated. Because our
anniversary fell on a Saturday, that meant the courthouse was closed; which meant we had to hire someone; which
meant more money; which also meant we had to have a location in which we could be married; which meant more
money; we wanted to write out our own ceremony; which meant a fuckload of time and even more money…you see
where this is going? All along with the news that The Dickheads wanted to push us out. But you know, it was still
a whole hell of a lot of fun. Plus we had a badass four-day honeymoon of fun.
Sister made the most lovely star garland in our favourite colours for our location.
*Mid-May 2011–Very-Early-August 2011: When we got back from the honeymoon we started looking for houses to
buy…well, first we started talking about buying a house A LOT more seriously than we had planned on doing
(original buy date would be sometime in 2012) and then we started looking to buy. And we looked and looked and
looked and looked and said no to a shitload on the internet and viewed a few houses before rejecting them and our
sweet agent (that same dear hippie lady who kept apologizing for The Dickheads continuing harassment) was about to
give up on us when she e-mailed me one morning with a link to a newly-listed house and the subject line, “LOOK!
LOOK! LOOK!” and inside all it said was, “This one came up in my search this morning and it seems perfect for
you!!!” and it was ADORABLE! And looked so good!! And so very Us. We made an appointment for two days later to
view it and when we pulled up, Dear Agent walked out of the house and told us in no uncertain terms that if we
didn’t buy this house, she will fire us as her clients. Of course we loved it and of course we put in an offer and
of course we ended up buying it. And of course we are absolutely completely and totally head-over-heels-in-love
with our house. OUR HOUSE. It’s beautiful.
Hastily taken photo of front door seconds before we moved in.
I plan on writing a huge post about buying/moving with pictures of the house…but please, be patient for I will
scream if pushed to do too much too fast. My poor Rock Star nearly had a meltdown at the signing of the contract
for the bid for the house. Near. Catastrophic. Meltdown. My wonderful man does not accept change easily. But he
did. And we did. And at the first of August so we began the house-buying process. (Details to come, I hope.)
*Within days of putting in a bid, having the bid countered, signing the contract, having an official house
inspection, etc. etc. etc. we went on our already-planned 10-day vacation to see wonderful people we knew in
Virginia and to tour D.C. (I’d been twice, but my museum-loving Rock Star had never visited). After the incredible
stress of the first part of August, seeing my sister, my lovely and amazing friend, and Ben’s very best friend was
just what we needed to calm the ever-living-fuck down. We first saw Sister and her fabulous dog, Lizzy, then we
stopped at the ever-wonderful Erin’s house, then we trucked up to see Josh in DC. It was fantastic seeing my
sister as it always is when she lives too far away from me; and spending time with Erin is about as happy and
peaceful as any time I’ve ever spent. Josh was an amazing sport about letting us crash at his place and showed us
some wonderful sites (sights?) in the downtown area. With him as our guide we had some of the most amazing food we
had ever eaten. I’m so glad we know wonderful people who enjoy food and history as much as we do. We really do
have fantastic friends.
Happy Lizzy looking for a bellyrub
Me standing inside an Alexander Calder sculpture at the National Gallery of Art's Sculpture Garden
Comet Ping Pong's The Smokey & The Yaley--HOLY SHIT! You have to try this pizza!! It's too good to be true!!
Ben in awe of ancient mummy in Smithsonian Museum of Natural History
Josh and Ben about to enjoy the hell out of their Dogfish Sampler of various beers
*We came back mid-August (nearly bypassing my birthday entirely [cue: guilt and extreme sadface] and began to
finalize the closing and go through the entirely stressful closing process as well as the extremely stressful
packing-cleaning-moving-cleaning-unpacking process and let me tell you, we have a lot of shit. No. Really. I don’t
think anyone understands just how much shit two childless twenty-somethings can acquire when they live in a house
together for several years. It’s way too much. It’s embarrassing. But on September 17th, 2011 we moved in to what
(if we so choose) could be the last house in which we ever live. [cue: angelic voices singing heavenly tune]
*Since then we have cleaned, unpacked, painted, rearranged, cleaned, unpacked, painted, painted painted,
rearranged, unpacked, cleaned, painted, rearranged, painted, painted, unpacked, painted, tiled, painted,
rearranged and back to tiling and painting some more. That’s house stuff. And [re: hopefully/skeptically] soon I
plan on posting more detail on house stuff if only for my own records.
*October 22nd was the Homecoming Day for my five-year college reunion. Not only did the beautiful Erin come to town
to visit, but I got to catch up with some of my favourite old art alums (how fuckin’ snooty does that sound?!?)
and that was a metric ton of fun–plus we came home with a beautiful piece of art by the always wonderful Robin
Grace Venable who provided the alumni exhibit this year.
*BUT Halloween is our favourite holiday and last year we were in the process of looking for a new place and had
previously thought we would be moving in October and didn’t decorate at all and just threw a meager little
Halloween party. This year we knew we’d be only five weeks in our new house, but we couldn’t forgo the annual
Petler Inn Halloween Bash, so we invited costumed close friends to our transitioning house for an awful good time.
And the week prior, we participated in something we had always dreamed of doing…sort of: It has been a life goal
of mine (and now the Rock Star’s too) to die some gruesome grisly death in a B-horror zombie movie. Our super
talented friend, Ben (affectionately called Other Ben), participated in a local grindhouse-style horror trailer
contest to go along with a local Horror Fest our town throws each year, and we got to be the zombies!! We had way
too much fun making it, and even though Other Ben’s didn’t win on account of it being “too pretty” and “not
grindhouse enough” (although we counter that the genre he drew, “Knoxploitation” is AWFUL) it was still one of the
best ones entered and we LOVED it.
As for our costumes this year, we went all out for the zombies for the movie and were so focused on cleaning
up/painting/tiling the house before the party, that we didn’t even start to think of anything until seven-ish
hours before the party was supposed to start (with us having to work in between that time-frame). Ben went as
Rorschach from The Watchmen graphic novel and I went as a clean basket of laundry–I was particularly proud of the
crumpled dollar bill and wad of thread I hot-glued to my tshirt along with socks and a sock on my headband. Not
too shabby for last minute; my costume problem also had to account for being able to literally throw it on when I
got home from work in less time than it takes to pee (also accounts for the utter lack of makeup as I drove home
like a maniac and ran upstairs to don Halloween garb). Even though it was small and not-that decorated, it was
still an super fun time with awesome people. And we’ve already started planning out next year and the full on
epicness that will occur.
in zombie garb for pseudo-movie
That damn basket bruised my thighs, I was so sore the next day.
Funnily enough, to answer nerd questions everywhere, he wasn't wearing anything underneath that coat.
And with that, I have skimmed my life forward to present day. There is so much left out and so much more to add. And [WITH GREAT HOPE] I will get back into my regular blogging schedule; which is to say, two or three times a month.
We’re in the process of buying a house. Cue major freak out: “HolyShit!HolyShit!HolyShit!!!”
We also took a lovely 10-day vacation to see some wonderful people and our nation’s capitol city.
I turned 27 years old.
Ben’s band (and other musical ventures) is/are picking up rather quickly.
We’ve been just a bit busy.
And if my German Mama taught me anything, it’s that lists can always be made.
So, a’la the delightful Sizzle, here is a list of 27 things I would like accomplished during my 27th year:
1. Buy a house and have the option of never moving my sweet ass again.
2. Reconnect with my old art alums at my five-year college reunion.
3. Chill the fuck out and create at least one day a month with the obligation of doing absolutely nothing that is required.
4. Keep up with the ‘beguilements‘ section, as well as the whole blog much better.
5. Get back into the habit of regularly walking ole Chubbers.
6. Visit a new place.
7. Keep up with my snail mail correspondence much much better.
8. Get another tattoo.
9. At the very least begin (but with high aspirations of completing) the album I bought for our 11ish year history two years ago that still has plastic around it.
10. Mail out proper “change of address” cards before middle of November.
11. Make all the holiday gifts before the 20th of December.
12. Work a bit more on that tshirt quilt i’ve been collecting for five years.
14. FINALLY have a properly designated art room!!!
15. Start excessive saving to buy a new-to-me vehicle for whenever the old Jeep finally kicks it.
16. Buy a new mattress/bed.
17. Create a tiny edible garden (and since I really hate gardening, I’ll be happy if I can simply maintain an herb garden).
18. Finish transferring our shitty recipe book to the new recipe book.
19.Throw super fun we-never-had-a-reception-slash-house-warming party on our eleventy-first anniversary.
20. Make homemade hummus.
21. Take a class.
22. Bake bread
23. Make cheesy-as-hell holiday cards with The Rock Star.
24. Find our perfect kitchen table.
25. Visit at least two non-local museums.
26. Start that Etsy store we’ve been discussing for several years.
27. Build my very own darkroom!!!
One to grow on: cross off at least half of these listed items!!
Ben here…. i indeed still exist! Last time i blogged on here, i was a heathenous un-wed 26 year old. I am now 27, married, and even more of a heathen.
I just celebrated my 27th birthday over the weekend. Lemme tell ya, my whole life up until i met my WifeFriend, i had pretty boring birthdays…. maybe a sleepover. maybe a cake. always awkward grandparent moments. But thanks to my girly whirly, over the past decade i’ve had the best birthdays ever, and this one is no exception!
The festivities began Friday night with my party. It was a somewhat small-ish group of my best buddies, which is perfect by me. The older i get, the less i enjoy massive parties at our place where i feel the urge to scout around to make sure everyone is having fun and behaving reasonably well. The night started when my friend J.R., who i have known my entire life, gave me the gift of the best Ultimate Warrior shirt i have ever seen. He also gave me a kickass Stone Cold Steve Austin shirt and Katamari Forever for PS3. I wore the Ultimate Warrior shirt for 2.5 days straight after that. Our friend Skittles delivered an amazing gift of a bottle of Bookers, a bottle of Blantons, and a Blu Ray copy of Life!!!! I certainly can’t deserve such wonderful things. There were many other goodies and other whiskies exchanged. Oh! And Mousse and his wife made me some custom dish towels featuring penguins and Mark Gormly. Super sweet.
The party was epic. I was totally hammered beyond reason. Giving me whisky on my birthday is an open invite to see me tanked beyond the point of hope. The party concluded with an amazing sing along kitchen floor jam session that lasted till about 4 or 5 a.m. I don’t remember when anyone left. Good times.
The next day, i woke up almost un-hungover (god i love bourbon), and we went to the Knoxville Gay Pride parade, me still wearing the Ultimate Warrior shirt (which was a raving hit, surprisingly). More good times.
Sunday not a whole lot went on. Had a good band practice. Took off the Warrior shirt but otherwise good.
Monday was my actual birthday. We slept late, then WifeFriend made me eggs in a basket with bacon, tomato, orange juice, milk, and coffee. One of the best ways to start your day of all time, no doubt! Then we sped off to a matinee showing of X-Men First Class. I was really impressed at how good it was! We both really enjoyed it. Looking back on it, its probably my favorite of all the X-Men movies, and it makes me extremely hopeful that one day they will make an amazing movie of the Age of Apocalypse storyline (my favorite comic book story arc of all time). After that, we went to our favorite used book/cd/movie store, where i found Mahavishnu Orchestra’s Lost Trident Sessions album. Winnar! I also received a few sweet books as b-day gifts from mah honey.
I was treated to a lovely b day lunch at my favorite Thai place. I learned the hard way that when you order two spring rolls as an appetizer, you are not, in fact, ordering two rolls. You are ordering 2 orders of spring rolls. This means 6 spring rolls. So in Thai menu speak, 2 spring rolls = 6 spring rolls. Remember this, it can save you from a lifetime of shame from overcrowding your table with needless tasty spring rolls. What a menace i am. But the wonderful Rama curry washed away my shame with its spicy, peanut-y goodness.
After that we went and picked up my ice cream cake from Marble Slab (mint chocolate chip ice cream cake emblazoned with “happy birthday ultimate warrior” on top. winnar.), and went home to speed-clean the messy house before family arrived. And family did arrive.
I like both of our families, i really do. I do dislike all children, which is kind of a problem when you have one at your family birthday party. Oh well. I trudged on and ate that yummy cake. Got more cool stuff, a few nice shirts, some cash, some flip flops…. good stuff. Then the coup de grace, my better half’s gift… got a sweet 3 speed record player and a set of Bose speakers to go with it! Heaven! I need to get some cable to hook up the speakers, but after i do i will be in vinyl bliss. Can’t wait to hear Passion and Warfare on vinyl…. and Obzen…. and Torche… and Blackwater Park….. yummy.
But anyway, i had an excellent birthday. Plus i’m very proud that i broke my old record for “years consecutively lived”. And that’s always nice.
Yeah, sorry I’ve not really been present at all. I’ve been super-duper busy. Fighting with my landlords (they want their house back WAY before our lease is due); sooner-than-expected talks of buying a house with each other, with our real estate agent; going on a quick vacation to Tybee Island/Savannah, GA that wasn’t really a vacation…
it was a honeymoon.
Because we got married. (eep!)
But we like to keep things complicated, so of course it was a secret marriage.
And I learned some things:
1. It’s reallyreallyreallyREALLY hard for me to keep my own secrets as I typically do not have any secrets and I’m used to just walking around and gabbing to anyone who is in range about what’s going through my head.
2. I do NOT handle stress well. Back in high-school/college era, I was a stress-managing machine–a good German through and through, I could itemize, list, and conquer with the very best of them. I have since turned to a life of mostly leisure and am now quite unaccustomed to a stressful way of living. This means that I turn into a little ball of bitchiness. It’s not fun. And it’s real fucking ugly.
3. I have no idea how women (or men) who plan full weddings do it. NO FUCKING CLUE. We had us plus nine people and a minister at a park on a Saturday morning and guys, it was just too much for me to handle. We didn’t even have invitations–just stopped by to visit grandparents and parents and let them know about it. Seriously, it was ridiculous.
4. Honeymoons are awesome. I mean, for real. In all our years, we’d never taken a vacation that was just the two of us. We’d always go along with our families or we’d plan trips with our friends, never had we traveled long-distance over several days just the two of us. And it rocked! We did nothing but sit on a beach and stare at the ocean for three days (fourth day we walked around Savannah), stuff our bellies with the most amazing seafood we could find, and have lots and lots of sex (sorry, mom). It was a blast.
So, hopefully, I’ll get back into regular blogging that I’m sure will be all about how awful it is trying to find a house. We’ll see.
I’ll leave you with our wedding announcement we posted after we got back. Made pretty much entirely by the lovely Rock Star:
but otherwise good.
