Happy 2013 To One and All

Well wishes and happy thoughts cannot be stated any better than the way the wonderful Mr. Gaiman does:

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I don’t always lurk, but when I do you wouldn’t know it.

Right. I am a blog lurker. Mostly.

I started reading random blogs in college, but I really came into the blog world when I started working an incredibly shitty job all by myself for nine hours a day (didn’t get to leave for lunch because I was always alone) in a ghetto used CD/DVD/Video Game store for three-and-a-half years. All the work would be done in two or three hours, minus the customer service bit, of course. And obviously there were never many customers as they only kept one fucking employee (not that I’m bitter).
Right. So for six days a week over three years I spent a lot of time in a large moldy, mostly empty store.

With the Internet. God. The Internet is so fucking cool. If I brought a book, when a customer would walk in, the first thing I’d get was some dumbass comment about “workin real hard.”
But if I’m on the Internet, it appears as if I am working.

But the problem is I don’t know what to do with myself and the Internet for so long a time. Celebrity news is not interesting; I left the store TV on news channels all day; porn’s use does me no good in a large building with a glass wall; and anything that required audio was no good as I had to keep music playing throughout the store all day long. So I started finding blogs, and I’ve kept up with most of my favourites.

But the thing is I rarely comment. And if I do comment, I usually forget to go back and see if anyone replied to my comment (luckily email notifications help).

What’s interesting about most of the blogs I read is how I probably wouldn’t get along with the writers in real life. I love the writing, the stories, but I doubt that we could get past an initial first awkward meeting.

A month-ish ago, reading my twitter feed while Ben browsed the hipster music store in downtown Knoxville I realized one of my favourite bloggers was in my town. And not just in my town, but in the same area of my town that I was currently wandering around in and killing time. When I told Ben, he asked if I wanted to contact her and see if she wanted to get a drink.

“What? Oh…………umm…….yes?
Wait. No. I don’t think I want to. I thing she’d annoy the piss out of me if I actually talk to
her and I love her blog too much to want to ruin it that way.”

And that makes me sad. I would love to meet with these people whose writing I enjoy and who’s lives I have been watching (reading?) for years. Some of them I have seen go from being single to having children with a spouse. I’m invested. I’m curious in a strange voyeuristic way. I want to know all about them, but only at a distance. It’s very bizarre.

On the other hand, there are a few whom I would LOVE to meet and hang out with in real life. I think we’d get along well; my brashness and [incredibly] foul mouth wouldn’t upset them; etc. etc. etc..

One of those few is Brittany from Barefoot Foodie. I found her blog-hopping one day and thought her then-tagline of “not a food blog, just me being a dick” was hilarious. On paper (screen?) she seems like the kind of blogger I wouldn’t want to meet: a Mommy who sometimes writes about being insecure. I adore her.

The woman is fucking hilarious. And honest. And she loves wine! And seems like an incredibly awesome person that I would love to hang out with in the real world. And today, after laughing out loud at another one of her posts and reading it aloud to the rock star while he made coffee, I thought I’d share her. Because the more people who read this woman the better (not that she needs help; she’s quite successful all by herself). She can nearly always improve my day.

Brittany Gibbons

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I fucking love living in the future*

Dude. A watch that syncs with your Apple devices?? (or Android)

I mean, it is a bit overkill to have, but I am totally geeked out over how awesome it is that we even have this technology!!

fucking badass watch

*Yes, I know I’ve been MIA for awhile and I’m going to try more stream-of-consciousness blogging rather than waiting and collecting photos and planning a thematic post etc. etc. that I eventually become so bogged down in what I should have been writing about that I just stop posting altogether as I’m too mentally overwhelmed. Wish me luck.

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A Delightful All Hallows Eve to You!!!

We’ve been unbelievably busy on the house/moving/etc. and my only goal for tomorrow is posting a new blog. Promise.

As it is, I hope everyone’s been enjoying our favourite holiday:

-K

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hey, ya’ll–remember me?

Hi.

Yeah, sorry I’ve not really been present at all. I’ve been super-duper busy. Fighting with my landlords (they want their house back WAY before our lease is due); sooner-than-expected talks of buying a house with each other, with our real estate agent; going on a quick vacation to Tybee Island/Savannah, GA that wasn’t really a vacation…

it was a honeymoon.

Because we got married. (eep!)

But we like to keep things complicated, so of course it was a secret marriage.

And I learned some things:

1. It’s reallyreallyreallyREALLY hard for me to keep my own secrets as I typically do not have any secrets and I’m used to just walking around and gabbing to anyone who is in range about what’s going through my head.

2. I do NOT handle stress well. Back in high-school/college era, I was a stress-managing machine–a good German through and through, I could itemize, list, and conquer with the very best of them. I have since turned to a life of mostly leisure and am now quite unaccustomed to a stressful way of living. This means that I turn into a little ball of bitchiness. It’s not fun. And it’s real fucking ugly.

3. I have no idea how women (or men) who plan full weddings do it. NO FUCKING CLUE. We had us plus nine people and a minister at a park on a Saturday morning and guys, it was just too much for me to handle. We didn’t even have invitations–just stopped by to visit grandparents and parents and let them know about it. Seriously, it was ridiculous.

4. Honeymoons are awesome. I mean, for real. In all our years, we’d never taken a vacation that was just the two of us. We’d always go along with our families or we’d plan trips with our friends, never had we traveled long-distance over several days just the two of us. And it rocked! We did nothing but sit on a beach and stare at the ocean for three days (fourth day we walked around Savannah), stuff our bellies with the most amazing seafood we could find, and have lots and lots of sex (sorry, mom). It was a blast.

So, hopefully, I’ll get back into regular blogging that I’m sure will be all about how awful it is trying to find a house. We’ll see.

I’ll leave you with our wedding announcement we posted after we got back. Made pretty much entirely by the lovely Rock Star:

-K

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Apparently, we are all supposed to be putting our respective hands up.

So I came across this marvelous mash-up of the Billboard Top Ten Singles for 2010 (not all of them) and it has reminded me yet again why I have lost all faith in popular music. Watch it and be appalled:

Did you make all the way through?
-K

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Potter Mania!!

Oooh…yeah…I’ve been gone for a bit and there is a long explanation for that; but this post won’t be it.

In view of the upcoming Part One of the final Harry Potter movie, here are a few bits for you:

and a hilarious spoof:

and an utter classic:

I’ve been busy re-reading all the Potter books [for the fourth time since the 7th book was released--it's just awful, I know] in preparation for the inevitable anger that will follow my midnight viewing of the movie.

Cheers to you, and I’ll be catching up soon!
-K

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Upcoming Movies

Some forthcoming movies that I cannot wait to watch:

Although the story seems semi-weak, I LOVE nearly every single person involved in this one:

I’m not really digging the animation style, but I’m a sucker for Disney:

In Westerns, EVEN BETTER!! A Coen flick!!:

I’d like to learn more, but this one has possibility:

REALLY looking forward to this one:

This one looks campy enough to be awesome:

And of course, I couldn’t post movies I’d like to see without including this one:

-K

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Etsy Goodies, Halloween edition

I’ve recently broken down and FINALLY bought myself an ipod classic; which of course means I’m going to need a proper case for it (as anyone knows, I tend to toss things into my suitcase-sized handbags and let everything jumble about together). And now I’m looking for cases for it, and there are TONS out there!! I can’t decide if I want some geeky and cute/funny like:

from Nokomomo

or

from CrankCases

but I really love these beautiful leather ones:

from Beautiful Skin

And of course, it’s absolutely impossible to go to etsy and not look at all the other beautiful things they have:

from Skull and Cross Buns

from Winona Cookie Creations

from MC Stoneworks

from Uncommon Alchemy

from Bloom and Barnacle

from Cheltenham Road

from The Shadow Farm

Now, if possible, I want to decorate the house even more.
-K

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Beguilements #5

Ah, remember how I said I was going to do better with the beguilements? Yeah…hahahahaha. This is basically the entire month of August and some of September–and I left some of the older/rewatched classics out (and I’m leaving out a book or two but I’m drawing a complete blank about it). Goodness. and Heavens to Betsy too.

Aaahh!! Real Monsters: This early-mid-’90s cartoon that I absolutely loved as a kid is still wonderfully disturbing now, albeit some cheesy lines. Now, if only I could find the Beetlejuice animated series–I would own that one.

Art & Copy: A 2009 documentary shows us the world of advertising in a truly fascinating way. Now, I am a huge typography nerd, so perhaps I was more interested in this one than Ben would be (who was not at all upset about missing the viewing). There are some major players interviewed with some great stories to tell how they or a specific company started. Really wonderful film.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog: A bizarre short [musical] film staring Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion, and Felicia Day. It’s an interesting concept focusing on Harris’ wannabe-supervillain character video-blogging his exploits against his arch-nemesis and waxing on about his secret love. It is a great concept, but could have been more successful if it had a bit more editing.

Oliver!: I grew up watching this musical. I love the 1968 version so much, I have refused to watch the 2005 version (also, it’s a Polanski film and I try to avoid those whenever possible).

Bullshit!: The Penn & Teller showtime show with brief segments tearing apart some poplar ideals. I LOVE this show and I wish a lot more people could watch it. (P.S.–Most people know The Boy Scouts of America are raging homophobes, but did you know they are exclusionary bastards who also take government money and use government land [mostly] free of charge?!?)

Wanda Sykes: Tongue Untied: The 2003 stand-up routine of this hilarious woman.

Sex and Breakfast: A 2007 movie that looks a bit too much like a soap opera for me to take it seriously as “indie;” the women have just a bit too much “natural” makeup with hair a bit too shiny, the boys are a bit too pretty/toned with a bit too much of that “moody” look in their eyes. The description sounds like it could be a slighty funny drama but the whole thing is a bit too poorly written and extremely poorly directed to convince me these characters are real. Definitely would not recommend.

The Botany of Desire: A 2009 documentary based on a book of the same title that explores the natural history of four plants (apples, tulips, cannabis, and potatoes) and how these very common plants have manipulated the human evolution. REALLY fascinating. This flick was well work it’s two hour length. Each plant is given half-an-hour to follow it’s origin in the world and how humans are interacting with it in current day. Very good movie.

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman: WONDERFUL book. But of course I think so, I’m absolutely in love with Neil Gaiman. As every single person in the world should be; American Gods is one of the very best books ever written. Anansi Boys isn’t exactly a sequel to American Gods, but it takes place in the same universe. It is delightful and witty and fun and the endearing characters are woven in between fantasy and reality so beautifully. Anansi Boys is much more lighthearted than American Gods, but in such a clever way that is quite charming. You will love this book.

The Expendables: We have been waiting on this movie for years before it’s eventual release. But we grew up watching all those super-cheesy ’80s and ’90s action movies. With a cast of such amazing action greats, this movie is exactly what it needed to be–totally awesome. It is destined to become a Saturday afternoon classic.

My Dog: An Unconditional Love Story: This is a really sweet documentary about the relationship between a few celebrities and their pets. It’s extremely endearing and as does most things that involve dogs, ended up bring tears to my eyes near the end. I didn’t have much of an opinion on Isaac Mizrahi, but in this documentary he comes across as a very nice and down-to-earth fellow. But it’s simple and sweet and a pleasant-enough watch for anyone that enjoys the companionship of (wo)man’s best friend.

Bunny Shorts: I do not know from whence these movie summaries originated, but they are available on Netflix and are several seconds of adorable hilarity.

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks: This [fictional] account of the world-wide crisis that nearly depleted humanity is one of the most fascinating books I have read in a really long time. The journalistic nature of the writing style in this book lends it a sense of reality any other format would have missed. I would highly recommend this book to anyone, zombie-fan or not.

A Wink and A Smile: The Art of Burlesque: This is a 91 minute documentary that follows along with a Burlesque 101 class out of Seattle. It’s interesting to see the type of women who opted to take a class, and to follow along with them as they each develop a stage persona. There wasn’t as much history of burlesque as I would have liked to have seen, but it would be a good introduction to someone who may be curious about burlesque.

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold: This book, narrated by the 14 year girl who is raped and murdered before the book begins, had such wonderful potential. It starts off so strongly and ends in such a cheesy way. It was an interesting read, but I wish it could have ended in a less juvenile way.

Machete: Rodriguez strikes again!! If you were a fan of the Grindhouse movie(s) then you will recognize Machete as being one of the fake trailers from it. This movie was exactly what it said it would be–and it was fucking awesome while doing it! I realize this type of ’70s cheese isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but this movie is just so much fun.

Piranha 3-D: Wonderfully fun and Richard Dreyfuss has such a wonderful little cameo in it; his part is perfect. Unlike so many other movies that have jumped onto the 3D bandwagon by selecting a drop-down menu in the editing room, this movie was filmed in 3D with the same 3D technology that was used in Avatar. The 3D is really amazing and the movie is a tit-filled gore-fest that shouldn’t be missed–if that’s what you’re into.

It Might Get Loud: Unfortunately I was at work while Ben and Ian (drummer from arc) watched this movie; here is Ben’s review: “I thought it was a really insightful documentary; definitely geared toward musicians. Great footage of The Edge, Jimmy Page, and Jack White jamming. For a non-musician this movie Might Get Boring, but I thought it was very good.”

Project Runway: Due to a crazy-busy summer, we had missed all but the first two episodes. This past week was dedicated to playing catch-up to be able to watch Episode 9 in real life. This years group is super talented and I kind of want Michael C. to make it to the final (or at best beat Gretchen) just to spite the other designers even if I don’t particularly like his style.

The Good, The Bad, The Weird: An amazing South Korean movie about outlaws in 1940s Manchuria is a wonderful homage to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly while still being amazingly original. This movie maintains its sense of fun while still being a masterpiece of cinema. The cinematography is epically beautiful, the camera-work in general is astounding, and the entire movie, including a 40 minute chase scene is riveting. Everyone should watch this movie–particularly if you are a fan of Westerns and/or an extremely well-made film.

-K

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